around the world, searching for tuna buns

There is a tiny little kiosk in Porter Exchange in Boston that is the best bakery in the world. I forgot the name of it and it doesn't matter anyway because I'm not gonna be back there anytime soon. But they have the softest, springy-est, yeasty-est, most succulently satiny, golden, buttery smooth buns you have ever had in your life. Whether they take the form of a twisted doughnut, bejeweled with coarse sugar like stars, or... BUCKET OF DROOL... the fabled tuna bun... oh you silken temptress, your firm yet yielding sponge.. the perky tang of of your fishy secret heart... ohhhhhh...

What was I talking about... Oh yeah. Anyway...

A local chain here is Breadtalk. This is what I like about Breadtalk: you can smell it before you see it. You can actually follow your nose through a mall or a food court, aroma hanging, snaking in the air Buggs Bunny style until, on the other end of the chain of scent, you find a Breadtalk. Hee, cool.

Breadtalk has tuna buns too. They're good. They're not as good as the little bakery staffed by the shy Japanese man with the adorable little sweather cap and cute smile in Porter Exchange, but they are good. And the also have this thing:

upper right: tuna bun, lower left: floss

What is Floss, an exposé by Dee
Floss is shredded pork that has been spun into something that looks and tastes just a bit like cotton candy.

I am totally not making that up. What you do is, you take a yummy, yeasty bun and you slit it, not all the way through, just enough to get its attention, and then you ladle in some custardy mayonnaise. (Do not become ill! When you think about it what is custard but eggs? And what mayonnaise but egg whites? Abandon your preconceived notions, why shouldn't this work?)

And then you sort of SCHMEEEEER the mayonnaise all over the top of the bun. And then you roll it in floss, in shredded pork.

THE END

A Floss is sweet and porky and fatty and yeasty and good. And, okay, a little weird. You probably shouldn't take these home for later like I did, but should eat them on the spot as soon after the friendly lady in the white apron, cap and mask has assembled one for you, while they are still warm.

Spun pig. Whodathunk.